WELL said Ken Bretherick, I have an allotment on a plot not very far from you.
Until about three years ago we had more than our fair share of theft and vandalism - until a single strand of barbed wire was put along the top of the fence, since then no more problems and certainly no complaints of injury. The single strand of wire is six feet plus from the ground, well out of the reach of law abiding persons of all ages. This wire now has to be removed.
It reminds me of a case a few years ago when allotment holders were banned from using old carpets to suppress weed growth in case toxins leached into the soil - the same carpet which had already served its time on a lounge floors as a comfort to countless sticky fingered toddlers searching for lost Smarties etc.
The official responsible for this folly has little or no experience of our years of practical experience and common sense.
He probably gets his vegetables from the superstore his fresh air from Emmerdale and his exercise on the end of a dog lead
Get ready for the next set of orders: maybe “don't grow fruit or veg to which the thief may be allergic” or “all thorns to be removed from your bushes”.
The Old Hall