Over the last few weeks I have worked on many weddings and one thing that comes up quite often is how to decide who is to going to give you away if you have a biological Dad and a stepfather. You may not have the same close relationship with one that you do with the other, but you want to include both of them. How do you decide who should give you away?
Only you know the type of relationship you have with each 'father', but I think it is important to include them both to prevent any bad feelings throughout the wedding planning and on the wedding day.
The good thing is that many weddings break with tradition these days and I don't see why both your stepfather and your dad can't both walk you down the aisle. I am sure they would be extremely proud to share the experience and it would mean a great deal to each of them.
I guess over the years they have both had to share the milestones in your life many times, so this is just another for them to share in. This solution gives you the best of both worlds, showing each 'father' that they both mean a great deal to you. You also get two lovely men to give you away.
Alternatively if you feel this is a bridge too far then why not walk down the aisle with your Dad and have your stepfather waiting at the front to 'give you away' to the groom. You may even think of asking your stepfather to walk you down the aisle and then give a role to your dad at the reception, perhaps the father’s speech or a special dance.
One thing I would recommend is that you communicate to all parties early on in the wedding planning. This way the problem won’t arise at the end when things can get stressful. At the beginning of your planning you are also much more rational as wedding fever has not taken hold. You can sit down together and talk it through. I am sure that your Dad’s will only want your day to be perfect and will be very keen to ensure they only do what’s right for you.
This is a little tricky but it is your special day and if you handle it correctly you will have the best of both worlds.
Until next time, happy planning.
Written by: Julie Dawson - The Wedding Genie